on too much of a good thing

"white men, with so much of license and liberty, would die of ennui"


this quote has to be wrestled out of a somewhat shady context for its truth to shine. in this case, I pulled this statement from George Fitzhugh's attack on the rich for "cannibalizing" and effectually enslaving the rest of the white population through their broken economic system--fair enough, but it's also set amid his characterization of black slavery as summer camp in comparison to the woes of the working class white. nice try, George. but I digress.


I like this particular fragment of a statement because it characterizes a bit of frustration I've had lately with life: there exists at this present age and place a glut of options. 


before I go on, I should point out the irony of my complaining about having too many options. what an opportunity, what a luxury, to complain about an abundance of opportunities and luxuries!


this quote, and the malaise it references, have been on my mind because I'm struggling with reconciling my ever-expanding sense of world norms (in typical undergraduate fashion) with my current lifestyle and the paths I intend to take in the future. I suppose that's been a recurring theme in this blog.


a new realization the has been creeping on me for some time, and which I'm only beginning to reckon with, is that I am constantly feeling out norms. for almost everything. I do it the majority of the time. I am constantly asking myself how people at my age act, and should act. how people drive, and should drive, and shouldn't drive; how clean people's bikes are, or should be. how loudly I should be speaking in comparison to others, and so on. about everything, everything!


I could delve into the supposed reasons for this and psychoanalyze myself. but I'll save that for next time, because I'm already edging away from my intended topic. what was it, anyway? I've literally had this post sitting in my blogspot account for days, unsure of what I had so far and where I wanted to take it.

the topic of my neurosis with feeling out social norms is weighty, but what of my original intention--to lament on the number of options available to the average middle class American? I'd intended to really lambast this decadence, based on what I've observed in the lives of folks I know and certainly my own struggle with it.

alas, I think I've spoken to soon on both accounts. to be continued.